Earlier this week someone on Snapchat asked what my thoughts are on ‘When you hurt someone and they’re unwilling to forgive you, how do you accept that and move on when it’s so hard to even forgive yourself.’ My reply was this…
You may not be able to see it from this angle just yet, but every “negative” has an equal and opposite “positive” hidden within the pain. If you can realign your perspective, you’ll be able to tap the hidden blessing.
Say for example you cheated on someone, it may be a horrible thing to do but what if you cheating on them meant you broke up and you both found someone new who was an even better fit! If you hadn’t cheated on them they may never have met that new person. It’s usually hard to swallow that so soon, but if that’s how it plays out, time will reveal this to be true!
Or what if this helplessness and guilt TRULY inspires you to turn over a new leaf, and begin empowering yourself to become a far better version of yourself than what you have been in the past. What if it gives you the drive you need to go read a heap of books or to take some time out to work on yourself. Without hitting an emotional floor, you may never develop the motivation you need to improve yourself and ultimately live a happier life!
My point is that if you’ve made it clear that you are sorry to the other person and they are still unwilling to forgive you, the ball is in their court to make the next move. If they’re willing to forgive and work things through, great! If they’re willing to forgive but prefer to part ways, that’s fine too. In the long run the blessing in that will play out. If they’re unwilling to forgive, that will become baggage that will weigh them down until they can. By that time, hopefully you’ve forgiven yourself and moved on!
Personally I had a terrible breakup in my early teens, it was my first ever relationship and I was a mess! I did some pretty horrible things to a lovely boy who was probably just as hurt as I was. But now looking back on it, if I had not acted the way I did I would never have moved on with my life like I did, and may never have met my current boyfriend Lewis! …And that boy would never have moved on with his life like he did!
So my advice to you is: